Tuesday, July 07, 2009

TPAC is MOVING!!!!!

After 8 years and 440 posts, I'm moving my site from blogger to wordpress. I'm tired of the clunky user-interface, outdated styles, and lack of cool features that blogger offers and so I'm throwing in the towel. This doesn't mean much to you, the reader. Simply adjust your bookmark or subscription to reflect my new blog address.

tyhuze.blogspot.com is now tyhuze.wordpress.com - simple as that. And yes, I checked...tpac.wordpress.com had already been taken by someone who decided actually writing in the blog would not be fun or useful. wasted :(

Happy blogging!

-Tyler

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Billy Mays And A Strange String of Things I Noticed.

Every now and then I check out Conan O'Brien on Hulu to see some celebrities that he interviews. I try not to get too worked up over movie/tv/music personalities, but it's a good time waster I suppose. I flipped it on tonight and things just got weird.

I was moussing over the show for Tuesday, June 23 and noticed that the main interview was Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe from Friends) and the second (and very much more important this week) interview was Billy Mays. In case you don't know, Billy Mays is the infomercial guy who is always yelling - probably his most notable product is Oxyclean. It turns out that he invents most of the items he sells which makes him slightly more interesting besides the fact that he passed away a few days ago in the same bizzare week of celebrity deaths (Ed McMahon, Ferrah Fawcett, and Gale Storm).
Just the facts:
1. Ed McMahon was most famous for being Johnny Carson's side-kick (announcer) on the Tonight Show.

2. On the day that Ed McMahon died, the Tonight Show did a nice little tribute video to Ed.

3. On the day that Ed McMahon died, the Tonight Show featured and interview with Billy Mays.

4. 5 Days later, Billy Mays dies at the age of 50 (same age as MJ by the way).

My mind is digesting all of these facts as I'm watching Conan awkwardly interview these infomercial guys all while making fun of their products (though in a playful way). Then my weird-o-meter starts going off.

This is Just Weird:
1. Billy Mays comes out and not only mentions Ed McMahon, but also shares that he worked at the same company that Ed started with (National Kitchen Products?) and its where he learned to sell stuff that peels potatoes. No joke - that's weird.

2. Billy says while showing off his grabber gadget, "I had a weak back about a week back." Clearly he's aware of his failing health. spooky!

3. Right when Billy goes to take a sip of his water(?) from his tonight show mug the camera quickly cuts away.. poison? might be!

4. Aparently there was some bad blood between Billy Mays and the pitchman for the ShamWOW, Vince Shlomi. I think Billy feels like his original product (the Zorbee) was copied by the maker of the ShamWOW. He referred to it as the ShamPOW as if to say he'd like to sock his competator. Not sure that's a good idea since Vince Shlomi has a profession MMA fighting career record of 1-0 after punching a hooker - I can't make this stuff up. The point is, Billy had enemies.

The Conclusion?
I'm going to let you decide on your own if there is foul play here. It's really nothing, honestly, but in order to let my life seem interesting I must keep a vivid imagination. And perhaps its in poor taste to make light of an obvious tragic situation (nobody should be dying at age 50), but I mean no disrespect to Billy or his family. Vince Shlomi on the other hand seems like a real jerk.

Oh, you can watch the Tonight Show interview here. (or simply view the video below)


Tuesday, June 23, 2009

4 People That Need To Join Twitter

If the following people were to join Twitter, maybe my daily time wasting activities would be complete. Maybe.

1. TWH
This guy used to blog and I always enjoyed reading it. Then he got onto Facebook, and *poof* his well written blog material was replaced by the simple status updates. Not cool. But then it got me thinking... If what he prefers is telling the world what he did in the garden that night rather than writing a cool article with pictures, then perhaps he should just join Twitter and let the blog be a thing of the past.
Chances of it actually happening?
I'd say about 10%. Mostly because the Twitter website is boring and pointless. The real users access everything on their phone and I don't see my dad doing that any time soon.

2. Lucas
Another case of used-to-have-a-really-interesting blog. Now he hardly writes and doesn't really make up for the lack of content in any kind of social networking. Lucas actually was the first person to get me started in social networking when he created my first MySpace page. He'd be a good candidate for Twitter because he always has witty comeback to crazy people that seem to swarm him like Pigpen.
Chances of it actually happening?
I think about 75%. I'm honestly unsure how it hasn't happened yet since Lucas is my most trendy friend (which made his reluctance to join Facebook a little surprising). I think the real reason he hasn't caught on is because he really liked the way you could customize MySpace and his blog. Customizing anything about your twitter page is a waste of time.

3. Bruce Willis
Mostly because he is practically my idol. He's sooooo cool. One time he was trapped in an office building with some terrorists AND his ex-wife. Then he threw Professor Snape off the roof. He is cool. Actually there are MANY Bruce Willis's'ees on Twitter. I highly doubt any are the real deal.
Chances of it actually happening?
Zero Percent. If you saw Die Hard 4 you know that ol' Brucey doesn't even know what LoJack is and he had to have the Apple Computer Nerd explain to him what a Fire Sale was. Sheesh what a dinosaur (but a freaking cool dinosaur that can kill you easily).

4. Ben Merold
I just want to see if his Tweets would come out with ear splitting whistles everytime you read over a word containing an 's.' That plus he always had the funniest comments about stuff when he wasn't being an official pastor. In all seriousness, Ben was always a joy to be around and whenever he talked you felt like he was saying something very profound. Daily thoughts from this dude would be a blessing.
Chances of it actually happening?
Also 0%. When I left Missouri Mega Church he still wasn't using email. So he's not really into technology as far as I know.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Exerpts From the Lutheran Handbook


How To Sing A Praise Song

1. Follow the instructions of the song leader.
Someone in the praise band will invite the congregation to stand up, sit down, repeat certain sections, or divide into men's and women's vocal parts. Pay attention to this person to avoid getting off track.

2. Learn the melody and song structure.
Pay special attention to the melody line sung by the band's lead vocalist. Praise and Worship songs can be tricky because they are rarely printed with notated sheet music and are sung differently from place to place.

3. Sing along with gusto.
Once the melody has been introduced, join in the singing. When you're comfortable with the song, experiment with harmony parts.

4. Avoid "zoning out."
Singing lyrics that are projected on giant screens can result in a glazed over facial expression. Avoid this by surveying the worship area, noticing paraments and other liturgical symbols, and making eye contact with other people.

5. Identify lyrical themes.
Determine if the song is being used as a confession, a prayer, a hymn of praise, or serves another purpose.

6. Watch out for raised hands.
Some Lutherans emote while singing contemporary Christian songs and may suddenly raise their hands in praise to God. Be sure to give these worshippers plenty of room to avoid losing your eyeglasses.
BE AWARE:
  • Lutheran worship is highly participatory. The praise band is there to help you and the congregation to sing and participate in worship, not to perform a concert.
  • There are no strict prohibitions in the Lutheran tradition against physical expression during worship.
  • In some congregations, praise gestures will draw amused stares.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

An Inspiring Woman

I saw this video today and thought it was awesome. I don't watch a lot of television, so maybe this is old content (and I've found it is since I started writing this), but if you haven't seen it, I think you'll enjoy.

Susan Boyle

I like this video mostly because this woman seems more like an average Jane and not the hyped up pretty boys (and girls) that are the final stars of shows like American Idol.  But the real reason I like this video is how it highlights one of my beliefs about talent/skill/ability.  People always have arguments about who was the greatest of something of all time...greatest guitar player, or drummer, or builder, or painter.  The reality is that though many of those people who are the subject of such arguments are no doubtedly amazing there is much more undiscovered talent out there than discovered.  The greatest painter of all time is probably some dude who's artwork never left the basement.  The greatest guitar player of all time might be somebody who will never see his name in lights.  Know what I mean?

Anyway, very cool to see this today as I'm prepping for my own band practice with amazingly talented individuals.  None of us are a Susan Boyle, but we love what we do and we are thankful for our small opportunities.


Thursday, May 21, 2009

5 ARCADE Games That Got Me Hooked

...but first let me say that although I have many fond, early memories concerning video games (which is another post altogether), I can't really remember which got it all started for me.  Was it the arcade? The NES? The Atari? One thing for sure is that I will never forget how much more awe-inspiring arcade games were compared to the old console games.  So the following is a tribute to the games into which I jammed the most quarters.  Sorry for back to back video game posts, but that's the way I have them listed on my page of blogging ideas.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Arcade Game (1989)



This action-packed side scroller was a dream come true for a young boy who was really into his Saturday morning cartoons.  It was a chance to actually control your favorite turtle (Leo for me), fight the Foot and recognizable villains, AND do it w/ your two brothers and Dad...  We always made dad be Donatello b/c he wasn't our favorite.  Years later I find out via the xbox 360 that Donatello is actually the best character to use b/c of the extended reach of his boa-staff.

Best moment in the game: TMNT was a pure button masher and outrageously cheap in favor of the computer AI.  When it wanted you to take damage..you took it.  No amount of skill could help you avoid things like the Bebop charge.  But frequently when you'd be mashing furiously at a common foot ninja your character would use his weapon to flip the enemy over his head.  This random maneuver (though random) was so unbelievably rewarding that they included it as a core ability in follow up TMNT games for the NES.

Fun Fact: In Europe the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were actually called the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles.  It had something to do with the word ninja sounding too violent.  What a bunch of sissies.

Captain America and the Avengers (1991)


This game was very similar to the TMNT game in that it was a side scrolling masher with more than a few cheap mechanics to ensure that you couldn't beat it on one or two quarters.  But it had a few important elements.  First of all, the characters moved a lot faster giving you real strategical reasons to change positions on the screen.  Second, each character could make use of melee AND ranged combat.  This was probably the most rewarding aspect of the game.  Most of all, however, is that you could actually get better at this game the more you played it.  Knowing the character you picked (Iron Man for me) and the way he performed was your ticket to losing less money to this machine.

Best moment in the game:  The part I loved most about this game was the voice acting.  It pales in comparison to what we have now with celebrities and actors voicing the characters, but back then it was so FRIGGIN AWESOME to hear Captain America yell "The Avengers assemble!" and "I can't move!!!!" (when you died).  Even the sinister laugh of Red Skull was mesmerising.  

Fun Fact: Data East, the company that published The Avengers made many you-never-played-them games but did manage to create the arcade prototype to a wildly popular computer game called Lemmings.

X-MEN (the arcade game) (1992)



Ok ok...another side scroller.  Lame right?  Well you'll see what happens here with number 4.  This game was developed by the same company that made the TMNT game, so there were many similarities, but also several improvements.  They took out some of the super cheap AI which never seemed like a fair way to balance difficulty and just jam packed the game with hundreds of enemies.  It made that game absolutely stunning.  It would get so crowded with all those bad robots and yet when you knocked them to pieces you didn't even care that the reckless pace just demanded more quarters.  It had improved graphics, better response, and that awesome multi player option.  I always chose Nightcrawler.

Best moment in the game: For some reason the X-men in this game didn't really use their mutant abilities but a few times and it cost them dearly.  However, unleashing your super move was always breath taking.  My favorite was Nightcrawler's - he would zip all over the screen leaving a rainbow assortment of Nightcrawlers in his wake and anything that was in his path would be demolished.  Visual candy.

Mortal Kombat (1992)
Warning: Video Contains Graphic Content



I can still remember the first time I caught sight of this game.  I had never seen ANYTHING like it before and I just couldn't seem to take my eyes away from the screen.  I must have stood there in the arcade for at least an hour and I wasn't even PLAYING the game.  It was, by far, one of the coolest things I'd ever seen.  These photo realistic characters were fighting each other and everything was so intense.  From the creepy and tortured voice overs to the camera shakes to the brutal blood, gore, and fatalities.  I had no idea that a game could be this insane.  It literally changed the way I played video games for nearly a decade.  Also, consider this.  Up to this point, video games had been kind of a kid thing for me and my family.  I'm sure that my parents figured we'd grow out of it.  Also, up to this point the best part of playing my cherished side scrollers was playing with my brothers and dad.  But when fighting games came out, they were more adult, and very much focused on the individual and his/her (but who are we kidding with 'her') own ability to master the controls vs. the calculated computer AI.  Video games went from being a kid thing to a nerd thing...and I was perfectly okay with that.

Best moment in the game: There are so many that I can't really even pick just one, but here are a few.  First thing I remember about the game is Raiden flying straight at his opponent, arms outstretched, screaming incoherent Japanese and slamming him against the back wall.  The combination of the yelling and intense fighting was simply breathtaking.  Second, Scorpion throwing a harpoon in his opponents chest which produced a rich amount of crimson blood and pulling him into melee range while screaming "Get over here!!"  It's probably one of the most recognizable video game phrases of all time.  Third, the fatalities.  Gruesome, difficult to pull off, and ultimately the greatest way to show prowess over your opponent - computer or friend controlled.


Killer Instinct (1994)



When you are a kid you don't really experience video games the way the developers actually design them.  Mostly because you can't really grasp the idea of depth in a game (or in anything for that matter).  By the time Killer Instinct came out there were a zillion fighting games available in arcades and on home consoles so there was lots to choose from.  Really good fighting games are, on the surface, playable by anyone but contain real depth so that a little time and understanding of the mechanics ensure that a pro would never be destroyed by a kid smashing all the buttons in a blind rage.  So things like distance, strong and weak attacks, juggling, throws, and melee vs. projectile become important in finding a way to dismantle your foe.  But the most important of these is the combo system.  All great fighting games have some kind of combo system to help players string together moves that allow for more than just a back and forth interchange of fireballs to the face.  A player who can master the combos would never be beat by his 5 year old brother.  Killer Instinct took the idea of performing combos and placed it front and center in its game mechanics and gave the "special moves" that defined many early fighting games a back seat.  They literally FORCED you to learn complex button and movement combinations and rewarded you for learning to go deeper and deeper with each character.  It was like a light bulb clicked on for me.  I went back later and found out that this wasn't a new concept...combos were always there in other games, but they were more like the best kept secret for the gaming pros.  Killer Instinct let the cat out of the bag.

Best moment in the game:  When you pulled off a combo, big or small, this announcer would shout out "Killer Combo" or "Super Combo!" or if you stopped somebody's combo, "COMBO BREAKER!"  Each name 'killer, super, mega' that came before 'combo' was directly related to how many attacks you'd strung together.  The best was if you could unleash more than like 20 attacks he would shout "ULTRAAAAA COMBOOOOO!"  I was like he was shouting Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday all together.

Killer Instinct was the last game I devoted much time and money to in the arcades.  Soon after, the N64, and Playstation were releasing such good games that it became pointless to waste the quarters.  It used to be that all the newest games and best graphics came straight from the arcade, but these days the arcades can't hold a candle to the home experience.  So they have evolved from what they once were. The hub of everything new and exciting for video games is more of a novelty now.  A place where you can pick up big plastic reciprocating guns or stomp down on dance pads, or sit in a race car seat, or exchange thousands of tickets for a mug or plastic spider ring.  I remember when going to the mall with mom was totally worth it if we could just have 20 min of arcade time. I'll always have fond memories of those places no matter how nerdy that makes me.

Monday, May 11, 2009

6 Awesome NES Games That Never Get On Lists

The following is a few NES games that were really pretty good, but weren't really good enough to get on any website or magazine's "top 10 list," or "best games of all time."  Well maybe a few have, but they aren't the typical amazing game you get all sentimental about (like Mario 3 or Techmo Bowl).  If you had these games, then you probably dumped many hours into them, and if you never played them you should know you really missed out.

Ice Hockey


What made this game awesome:  You gotta love the customization of the generic teams here.  Skinny = fast and weak shot, Fat = slow and hard shot, and Medium = well, medium.  But what was cool is that you could mix and match however you liked based on what your opponent was choosing.  But lets be honest, you were 6 and you just picked guys however you liked em.  This game was great for competing w/ a friend and quick thumbs could really pay off in the end.

Why it's not on any lists: well it pretty much ignores the real rules of Hockey such as the official number of players each team should have on the ice.  So it's not really a sim.  So that would make it arcade style right?  Not really.  The fighting was sort of just this weird rumble inside of a cloud and one team would lose a player.  There were no trick shots or power ups or any other goodies you find in those kind of games.  Probably the most frustrating thing is that scoring seems random.  The goalie just sort of lets them go every now and then.

Final thought: this is probably the first sports game I can ever remember playing and although it lacks a certain polish, it sure was a heck of a lot more fun that I find most sports games today.

Rush n' Attack


What made this game awesome:  You are a single guy going up against the enemy with nothing but a KNIFE!  So cool!  But this one one of those games that was all about timing.  If you were quick and had good timing it was super rewarding to blow through the missions.  Also the music is very catchy.

Why it's not on any lists: The game isn't terribly deep.  You just run and stab stuff and occasionally get a bazooka.  Some of it also doesn't make a lot of sense.  It suffers from touch-kill similar to Mario where if the enemy comes into contact with you in any sort of way (besides your knife) you die.  Kind of dumb, but so is the enemy who simply runs headlong at you not using any of the weapons they have slung over their shoulders.  And apparently if you wear orange, you must jump-kick.

Final thought: When I was a kid, I thought this game was called Russian Attack - kind of makes it more awesome doesn't it?

Super Dodge Ball


What made this game awesome: The free for all dodge ball mode set in the backyard of a school was pure gold.  There were no sides, no boundaries and you could throw the ball at any ol chap you wanted.  The ability to "run" and throw a super charged ball at a person depleting their life by a large margin never got old. ever.  Each player had a unique power throw (two actually) and took damage differently as well.  It was just fun!

Why it's not on any lists:  The graphics for one thing, are a little off.  The game has a problem that many old NES games had where the moving components on screen would flicker in and out of view.  I didn't remember that when I was a kid but noticed it last time I played it (which was in Kyle Reed's dorm room a few years ago).  Also the game is over pretty quickly.  If it weren't for the multi-player mode you could be effectively "done" with the game in an hour.

Final thought: This was probably the game we rented the most often.  We (for some strange reason) never actually owned it.  We rented it as often as we could but that wasn't easy b/c it was frequently rented out being the only copy in the whole store.

Bases Loaded


What made this game so awesome:  Most baseball games that originated in Japan featured players that were fat little men (RBI baseball) and the game play was usually silly or arcade style.  Bases Loaded however featured players that looked like the real thing and I always enjoyed the unique perspective of the hitting/pitching (most games place the camera behind the batter).  The best part was that each team had players with weird names like Paste or Carr.  But that also made it kind of fun.  If you picked the same team all the time, you started to expect certain things from those players.

Why it's not on any lists: People who really like baseball want to play a baseball game that features their favorite teams and real players' names and stats.  So this game is out.  Also, it doesn't have any of the cool team building play style that was a new concept at this time (remember Baseball Stars?)

Final thought:  This is one of those games where I can still hum the little tune in my head after all these years.

Double Dribble

What made this game so awesome: The cut scenes in this game made you want to dunk the ball every single time.  It was so cool to see the very game transform before your eyes for the close up.  Also, I love how when you shoot a 3 pointer it basically sounds like a bomb is going off.

Why it's not on any lists:  Just like Bases Loaded this game lacks any tie-in with professional or college level basketball.  Also there's just some weird things about it.  Like how all the players are the same size, dribble the same speed, run the same speed, and oh yeah....DON'T HAVE FACES!  Also, you can run straight out of bounds.  Can you even do that in current basketball games?

Final thought: When you think of all the lack of detail in this game it's amazing to notice that they thought of putting in the squeaking shoes sound.

Pro Wrestling

What made this game so awesome:  Honestly, I'm not sure why, but I played the snot out of this game.  My favorite was Star Man because he had that really cool somersault kick.  

Why it's not on any lists: The game has some of the good parts of pro wrestling like clotheslines and suplexes but it's missing some of the stuff that makes pro wrestling what it really is.  The drama.  There is not throwing someone out of the ring to bash them w/ a chair and no smack talking and no personalized music no big personalities.  Again, I'm not sure why but I played this game a ton.

Final Thought: My mother hated this game because one of Amazon's moves is to bite the opponent's head.

Well I hope you enjoyed my list.  I'll probably do one for other systems but I wanted to keep it simple.  What would you have put on there?