potty mouth

i was starting to think that i was getting shorter...okay not really. What happens is that i go to someone else's house and during the time that I am there, nature calls to me in a way that makes you a little red in the face... anyways, as i sit down on the throne, i practically fall to the floor. "Did I miss?" i ask on my way down. No, just as I feel like I am about to sit on the floor, my rear is met by the seat of the throne...but it feels WAY too low. Now many of you have made the grave mistake of sitting on a toilet when the seat wasn't down and it is enough to send chills down your spine. 1) that one inch of height difference feel like a bottomless pit, and 2) sitting on the rim is gross, and you almost touch down on water which is altogether wrong...anyway, this is the sensation I get when i use the toilet at someone else's house (minus the feeling of sitting on the pee coverd rim). Why does this happen. I remember I was visiting my friend Nick (who needs to start blogging) at Married Student Housing (LCC projects) and when i used his bathroom, i came out and basically started making fun of his toilet. I was saying things like, "does a midget live here?" I couldn't understand why he had such a small and low to the ground toilet. But when I got home, it hit me (as I crawled up on top of my toilet). I realized that my feet barely touch the ground on my toilet at home, because I have an unreasonably large toilet. Now I also realize that how could i not notice before...well...the honest truth is that I don't use the toilet much at home for #2...because i spend so much time at church. But, the problem is that all the toilets we have in the youth building are handicapped sized toilets. So, for practically months, I have been sitting on huge toilets and didn't get out enough to notice any different. Ah life is full of so many twists.

"So maybe the grass isn't always greener on the other side, but the toilets are smaller."
-annonymous-