Friday, April 03, 2009

5 Reasons Being A Video Game Tester/Reviewer Would Suck

1.  What you do for work, others do for leisure.
So what does that leave you?  I'm guessing that you end up a video game tester because you actually enjoy playing them, but when other people come from their jobs of filing papers or folding clothing or shelving product xyz, they pop on their Playstation 360 as a way to unwind.  So when you come home, I guess to relax you should get to work stuffing envelopes or something.

2. You gotta play them all.  
The good and the bad.  The finished and unfinished.  The kind that are so hard it makes you want to "write a letter to the makers of the game" and the kind that really really suck.  Wanna play the new Hanna Montana game for 10 min?  Sure!  How about play it for 10 hours?  Bleh!  How bad is it?  Journey over to any website that rates games and see how many get good ratings vs. how many get bad.  You will hate your life.

3. Country wide economic slump.
Lets just say for example that our nation took a turn for the worst economically.  When the jobs start getting thin you better hope that you do something that people feel they can't live without.  Well chances are that video games won't be going anywhere soon, but I think people would not care one little bit about reviewers going away.  And then what are you stuck with?  A resume that says you played video games for 8 hrs a day and got paid for it.  Impressive.

4.  Video games are no longer just for nerds, but nobody will apply that to you.
You have a job like this, and you are a nerd for life.  Hope you are ok w/ that.

5.  Racing Games.
Yep one of the things that would make your job suck is having to play all those stupid racing games out there.  They are sooooooo boring and here's why.  There are two kinds of racing games...racing games with some kind of gimic (like you have to blow up the other cars by collecting weapons and shooting them down as you race) and the simulation type.  The problem with the former is that taking the idea of having to gun down your opponent is cool until you can't seem to figure out why it has to happen within the confines of a race.  You should be out in the jungle or abandoned warehouses or something...not in stupid cars on a track.  The action of making it kind of like a shooter is cool, but then its ruined by the aspect of the race and hardcore race fans will complain about the lack of realism.  So, enter the simulation style game.  It is sooo touchy and precise that even the smallest mistake will send your car into the closest hay stack bank...which will also damage your car slightly, cost you a few seconds penalty, and probably make it so that you can't win anymore.  The dumbest part is that no matter how realistic the thing gets, you are still controlling a car with a little controller in your hand.  It will NEVER actually simulate a race, it will just be so dang hard and tedious that you feel like it must be close to real.  Now imagine you felt the way I do about racing games (or any genre for that matter) and then you had to play that over and over hour after hour so you can write a small review that nobody will care about in about 5 days time.