Monday, August 04, 2008

Water Park Comments

I went to the new water park in Yorkville.  Here are my TPAC comments.  I took the youth group and this list is random - based off my observations.

1. Life is often like the weather.  Sometimes it rains on water park day.

2. Water is STILL notoriously good at finding its way into your nose, mouth, ears, etc. against your will.

3. No matter how boring your job is, remember you could be an employee at a water park.  They stand barefoot on concrete carefully scanning the water to make sure nobody is drowning in the 2ft pools of water.  Oh and waiting for the precise moment to tell a group of 4 to get on their raft.  Riveting. 

4. If you find yourself swimming in the lazy river, please get out of the lazy river.  The rest of the park is designed for you.

5. You must either clear your mind before using the public restroom or wear shoes.  The only thing that compounds the gross factor of a public restroom is the feeling of going in them barefoot.  Since the ground is very wet your imagination runs wild.

6. You should keep your eyes open in the lazy river.  I was laying on a raft and had my eyes closed when I randomly decided to open them.  I was about 2 ft from ramming head first into a woman's huge wrinkly butt.

7. If you need to use the restroom and the thought pops into your mind...eh i'll just go in the pool.  Consider that the other 500 people have thought the same thing.

8. If I bump into you on the lazy river after not making any attempt to move out of the way first don't worry, it's nothing personal.  I'm just being lazy.

9. If you find yourself capable of lodging complaints about any part of your life while relaxing on the lazy river you should go see a psychiatrist.  Also true if you accidentally ram head first into a woman's huge wrinkly butt.  

10. Put on sunscreen.  Points of interest are your face, shoulders, chest, and feet.  

11. Wearing a tshirt over your bathing suit doesn't make you look less fat.  It only proves that you own big tshirts.

12. After you are done at the water park you are more than welcome to take a huge nap.  Chances are you need one.